I feel like I’m carrying a heavy bag. The wiring of the bipolar brain is weird.

My nurse didn’t get back to me today. Sometimes the light touch treatment is actually a benefit it would be fuck awful if I had a nurse micro managing my life.

I’m trying to disengage from the grocery shop guy. Yes I still have to go in there but I don’t have to rush up to him like an excitable puppy. It’s going nowhere. I’m also gonna stop reading the blog of my ex friend LM. It’s hard and maybe I will lapse. I need to make space for friends who matter.

I feel kind of lousy but it’s hard to pin point why. I don’t think I am really thriving. I feel full of deeper feelings that I can’t articulate.

I’m tired of everything.

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