My partner says I don’t have time to walk. There is too much to do in the middle of the day “I’d like to but these middle class people with their cushioned jobs don’t understand that if I don’t work [insert large number of hours] I will go bust.
I go out anyway but feel like I am on a leash. If I am away for more than 15 minutes he will moan. I sit on a park bench. I buy a coffee and a bottle of water from a 7-11 and sit there in the sun watching the trees and traffic. “This is nice” I think to myself. I enjoy the moment. I think my partner cannot enjoy the moment. The moment Is a pound slipping through his fingers. Then again I have the luxury of not being ultimately responsible for paying the bills. The sun shines and the birds swoop. I might even chat to a grocery guy.
Later I call my dad (he never calls me). He boasts about some long country walk he has been on and tells me exercise is good for me and I should get out for a walk. B should get out for a walk. B is in the room sat in front of a computer screen. My dad had a public sector job with a cushion also my mom. B struggles to make a margin at his creative business. People want him to give up and work for a corporation. All this feeds into the politics of why we can’t go for a walk, why we have diabetes. But if we spend our time in leisure WHO WILL provide The money for the $2500 we need every month to stand still.
B cried at me today about the threat of going bust. I tried to tell him if I am hungry all the time and can’t afford food we are already bust.
And yet work and life continues…