Never without you

So M might have gone. It’s sad but I think it’s going to help me.

I was reading & listening to some Buddhist stuff earlier. The way nature is constantly changing, transforming. It’s interesting although somehow my western linear mind can’t quite grasp it.

I wonder what M philosophises about?

I dunno.

It’s true life is a flux but it’s hard for the western rigid mind to comprehend. Hard for me to comprehend apart from on a kind of intellectualised level.

I’m learning all these languages, currently Japanese, Russian & Mandarin Chinese but I’m still a beginner in all of them.

In a way why do I push myself?

Everything doesn’t feel like it used to feel like. Things feel less spontaneous, less joyful. I feel glum, depressed and bored. The medication really kills me (literally and figuratively).

There was a thing in one of the Buddhist books I read about helping the world but what do you do? Rush around with a fire extinguisher?

Listening to a Russian radio station and for some reason they are playing track after track of Ringo Star.

My brother doesn’t think taking the knee is a Marxist symbol.

Read two poems today one called Sonnet 17 by Neruda and one called “First Date”. Both were suggested by my penfriend K from Arizona who I got a letter from today.


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