Jazz at the end of the world

Had a wild dream.

B and I were in a Jazz bar. The lyrics to the jazz standard were something about quantum physics and existence.

The jazz bar was in a hotel. As I went upstairs some hot guy accosted me and we started kissing madly, passionately.

At this point I realised the dream was a dream and tried to continue it.

However after several linked fantasies my dream turned into a kind of nightmare and I woke up whimpering.

On another subject. I am swimming now. My ex-friend is part of the “fat pride” movement and doesn’t believe in losing weight or intentional weight loss.

Despite my friends protestations when I swim I can’t help fantasising about having a slimmer body over time. I suppose billions of advertising dollars are pumped into me seeing this as desirable but also being over weight is like social death amongst gay men.


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