If you read this blog you probably know now that I had a crush on a grocery store clerk named Mike.

He was/is so lovely. Handsome, kind, unassuming with a cheeky sense of humour. I really feel for him. Not only did I like his subversive sense of humour but I found him incredibly powerfully sexually attractive, almost magnetic in a way.

Sadly as these things usually turn out the attraction wasn’t reciprocated. Since I told him I liked him we had a period of just chatting every other day in the shop until one day he had been re-assigned to another shop within the chain. I’ve even gone to some of the shops hoping to see him but not in a systematic way. In a way im happy to let him go knowing now it wasn’t going to work.

It’s just I feel such a sense of loss over losing him. He was youthful and beautiful and bright. Not that I don’t love my own partner B immensely but Mike was glamour, youth, excitement. Thrill.

I dunno if I will ever meet another Mike. Im not going out of my way to look for one.

I feel really sad that he didn’t at least want to be friends but I can imagine maybe it felt awkward.

I liked his ordinariness. The way he didn’t mind cleaning out the vegetable section or humping crates. He can’t have been earning much money. He had a degree in religious studies. I was curious about his likes and dislikes, what he thought about things.

It’s probably good he drifted away.

I dunno.

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