I had kind of a mini realisation earlier. I’d been to buy some milk. The server barely acknowledged me. I remembered that in fact for as often as he had been chatty Mike had just ignored me as well.

It’s crystal clear it’s always been a one sided infatuation. But why should I raise up a person who generally cared less if was around or not.

All I can say is it’s just been a kind of lockdown madness. Like a one sided romantic haze. Maybe I was trying to recapture something.

B really loves me.

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